Fear is something that grabs a hold of you and squeezes tight. Fear will you a shell of your former self. Fear, doubt, and anxiety can come out of nowhere for no reason at all. If you are like me, something that isn't a big deal at all turns into something that seems insurmountable. If you are like me, I hope this post will be helpful.
This last week of my life has been brutal. Its just been one of those weeks. I've worried, I've cried (a lot), and I've become mentally exhausted. I prayed, I read scripture, and I heard encouragement from family and the best girlfriend I could ever have asked for. I've also listened to a ton of music. Mostly Lord Huron on repeat, but this morning I sought for something different. I put in Jason Gray's album "A Way to See in the Dark." I heard encouragement as well as songs that let me know that I'm not alone in feeling this fear and anxiety. The song "I Will Find A Way" hit me the hardest. Its mainly a Christmas song about how Christ is coming into our messed up world to make all things new. I heard it from a completely different scope. I heard it as the lyrics say: "How should I come to one I love? I will find a way." This hit me like a ton of bricks. In the midst of my worry and doubt, where I was more focused on my small dilemma, I lost sight of the fact that Christ was pursuing me to resolve the situation and make all things new again. He was saying to me "Derek, why wont you let me in? Let me take care of this completely? Nevertheless, I will find a way." I know and admit this has been a weak past week for me. I have sought Christ and been consoled, but at the same time I have hung on to my problems and let them fester. I have written this as a form of therapy and also to let other people out there know that they are not alone. In our brokenness, Christ will come and carry us out of the fear, away from the doubt, and free us from the anxiety. Fear is easy, Love is hard. That is another track on Jason's record, but it is a true statement. Don't let fear overtake you like it did me this week, but when it does rely on Christ to carry you out. He has come to make all things new. He is sanctifying us day by day and making us new. Its comforting knowing that Christ will find a way. In the midst of our fear, doubt, and anxiety He will find a way to lead you out. Rely on Him, read the scriptures. My amazing girlfriend, Heather, pointed me towards Philippians and it was just what I needed. I read, prayed, cried, and worship for the first time that week. God has given the scripture for teaching, instruction, and worship. Let us read it and be blessed by what He is telling it. Life is too short and too beautiful to live in fear. Remember, no matter what, He will find a way.
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